Monday, April 1, 2013

Life v.3

Our marital home is sold.  Friends helped me purge, clean, pack and sell ... the penultimate night before completion, I sat on a box and spoke to Cliff ... and had a good long hard (and healing) cry.

I took pictures of his work ... the special extras he created (like the built-in bookcase, the architraving, the skylights, the meandering garden path .... these are just a few of my favourite things).  As well as his handwriting on bare plastered unfinished walls.  Plans interrupted.  Our dream.

I only kept an antique hexagonal small table and the dining table.  Our hardback books.  Treasured ornaments.  A Kent Peg Tile and two old chimney pots ... from the days when he ran across rooftops.  Cards we gave each other.  Sentimental precious things (worthless to others but priceless to me ... and am proud to report that all this stuff would fit in a trunk).  I have plans to display some of it, make it accessible to me should I wish to read through holiday memories, greeting cards etc.  There's no point boxing it up ... or else, why keep it?

Today marks Life v.3.  I complete on my new home and life in Spain .... in Andalucia.  Boxes await removal in storage.  Barney the wonder dog will join me 4 weeks after I move.  I miss my little companion immensely.

The little Spanish town's main road is a 5 minute walk from home - bars, restaurants, shops.

I can't decide whether to edit my blog (to hide some of the more "alarming to those peeps who have not lost a spouse" posts ... or shut it down entirely .... as I have to consider how a prospective client googling me may perceive me ... I've mentioned before that I reckon anyone who's not walked in my boots may think I'm insane ... whereas anyone widowed will see my ramblings as a sane reaction to an insane situation.

Guest bathroom


My street

Kitchen with brekkie bar

My en suite

Front porch with Cabrera Mountains in background

Partial picture of back terrace

I'll miss my soul mate till I take my last breath.  But ... enough is enough.  He'd tell me to pick myself up, brush myself down.  Build my strength and health back up.  Get my boobs and hips back ... LOL.  Enjoy my new home and work. Enjoy the simple things.  Smile.  Chill.  Look back with laughter and a smile.  Allow myself to cry whenever I need to.  Healing tears.  

I'm excited about decorating my new home with new IKEA furniture .... minimalist, adding colour and interest with our collection of loved ornaments and memories.  But it won't feel like home till my dog rocks up.


  1. I LOVE the new place and hope I someday get to sit with you outside on those lovely terraces.
    Please don't quit blogging. I understand, totally, the need to change something, but I hope that you let us all keep up with you somewhere. You're just beginning your next phase/new life (as am I!) and I'm excited to see how it goes for you.
    Splendidly, I pray.
    Much love, my friend.

    1. Janine, you'd better deliver on that promise .... I think I'll un-publish some of the more reputation-damaging posts and leave this blog up ... OR (most likely) un-publish the blog (but not delete it) ... AND ... start a new blog (called Life v.3) about my life in Spain and my new Virtual Assistant biz :-)

  2. Thank you for sharing your bravery and adventures with us. I love your new place and like Janine I hope to one day sit on your terrace enjoying the company and the view! I am so inspired by your courage. I know Cliff is proudly cheering you on! I totally understand wanting to make changes with the blog, because we all know only widdas truly understand the normality in the insane. But I do hope we can keep in touch someway because I'm so excited to hear how life unfolds in Spain! Living vicariously through you :) Love you!

    1. thanks for your support, as always my lovely friend <3

      If you can, come come and visit (with your boys of course) .... we'd have fun spoiling them here xxx

  3. I hope you don't stop blogging! I am not a widow but I do read your blog a lot. Hope Spain treats you very well. Your place is lovely! Many blessings.

    1. thank you so much Shelly. I just checked out your blog. You have such a beautiful family - your pix made my heart smile :-) x

  4. Boo!!! The place looks amazing, and I think we should have a mini-widda conference there cause I want to come too!

    SO, so proud of you! You are amazing, brave, strong. I can't wait to hear more about life V.3

    Love you

  5. Yep...I see a mini-widder conference in Espana!!! I love the new house and I can't wait to see it in person.


  6. I really hope you guys get to visit xx

  7. I've missed visiting. I hope you're doing well and enjoying your new home. Take care

  8. I have read your blog and found it inspiring. Now I worry about what's happened to you since you moved to Spain and hope all is going well for you, please let people know if you're ok! I'm an Australian reader

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    If you accept God's way of salvation through Jesus Christ, you will have a future hope because a new earth and new heavens will be created. God will make us new also. All pain, sorrow, and death will be gone in the new world that is to come. You will forget the sorrow of your widowhood in that new world.

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