Monday, April 1, 2013

Life v.3

Our marital home is sold.  Friends helped me purge, clean, pack and sell ... the penultimate night before completion, I sat on a box and spoke to Cliff ... and had a good long hard (and healing) cry.

I took pictures of his work ... the special extras he created (like the built-in bookcase, the architraving, the skylights, the meandering garden path .... these are just a few of my favourite things).  As well as his handwriting on bare plastered unfinished walls.  Plans interrupted.  Our dream.

I only kept an antique hexagonal small table and the dining table.  Our hardback books.  Treasured ornaments.  A Kent Peg Tile and two old chimney pots ... from the days when he ran across rooftops.  Cards we gave each other.  Sentimental precious things (worthless to others but priceless to me ... and am proud to report that all this stuff would fit in a trunk).  I have plans to display some of it, make it accessible to me should I wish to read through holiday memories, greeting cards etc.  There's no point boxing it up ... or else, why keep it?

Today marks Life v.3.  I complete on my new home and life in Spain .... in Andalucia.  Boxes await removal in storage.  Barney the wonder dog will join me 4 weeks after I move.  I miss my little companion immensely.

The little Spanish town's main road is a 5 minute walk from home - bars, restaurants, shops.

I can't decide whether to edit my blog (to hide some of the more "alarming to those peeps who have not lost a spouse" posts ... or shut it down entirely .... as I have to consider how a prospective client googling me may perceive me ... I've mentioned before that I reckon anyone who's not walked in my boots may think I'm insane ... whereas anyone widowed will see my ramblings as a sane reaction to an insane situation.

Guest bathroom


My street

Kitchen with brekkie bar

My en suite

Front porch with Cabrera Mountains in background

Partial picture of back terrace

I'll miss my soul mate till I take my last breath.  But ... enough is enough.  He'd tell me to pick myself up, brush myself down.  Build my strength and health back up.  Get my boobs and hips back ... LOL.  Enjoy my new home and work. Enjoy the simple things.  Smile.  Chill.  Look back with laughter and a smile.  Allow myself to cry whenever I need to.  Healing tears.  

I'm excited about decorating my new home with new IKEA furniture .... minimalist, adding colour and interest with our collection of loved ornaments and memories.  But it won't feel like home till my dog rocks up.