Saturday, August 11, 2012

Wicked evening

Had such a special time with my BFF this evening.  We walked down to the Harbour in Ramsgate.  It looked so pretty ... the sea was a deep deep sapphire blue and still.  The ships and boats bobbing gently with their night lights twinkling.

After being fed stuffed at the Belgo Bar ... a generous supper of Ham, Eggs and Chips ... with mayo and brown sauce ... we wandered back to my friend's and chilled by the TV, by chance stumbling upon a 1970's episode of "Top of the Pops" that had us jigging in our seats, singing along loudly and giggling, as well as "oohing" .... in fact, my BFF actually felt the strongest urge to call an old girlfriend in LA .... so she did ... "Hey babe, listen listen ...." Oh how music can transport you back in time, bringing with it old feelings, butterflies causing stomachs to perform backflips, worthy of Olympian gold medals ... memories and the hankering for a more innocent and carefree time in our lives.  For a while at least.  To be honest, it is a fleeting feeling ... the craving for those halcyon days ... as I would rather stick pins in my eyes that re-live through those confusing angst-filled days .... LOL.

Whereas, I would give anything, do anything, ANYTHING .... to go back to the start with my Cliff.   But I can't.  We didn't get the ending we envisaged (at least the one I thought would come true), but I can create a new beginning, taking him with me ... in my heart, along with his passions and collections, the lessons he taught me, his love, memories ... and I can live within his "parameters", i.e. safely ... and be quiet every now and again and listen to his voice, which by magic is so ingrained in my own being, copied and pasted directly from him.  See, Baba, I did listen to you, despite your objections to the contrary.

Those few hours spent with my beautiful friend were like a recharging of my soul, my battery as such ... and I sorely needed the soul food that she gave me.  It was an effort to get there today ... so low on energy, too hot, listless and tearful.  But wow, was it worth making myself get off my ass and go ... I've returned with a kickass attitude and a trace of a smile etched upon my heart and soul ...

Hurrah for BFF's.  Everywhere.  Especially mine.  My rock.  ILY.


  1. you are so very fortunate to have someone like that in your life. trying to recharge your batteries alone is.......hard. love and peace to you.