Whereas, I would give anything, do anything, ANYTHING .... to go back to the start with my Cliff. But I can't. We didn't get the ending we envisaged (at least the one I thought would come true), but I can create a new beginning, taking him with me ... in my heart, along with his passions and collections, the lessons he taught me, his love, memories ... and I can live within his "parameters", i.e. safely ... and be quiet every now and again and listen to his voice, which by magic is so ingrained in my own being, copied and pasted directly from him. See, Baba, I did listen to you, despite your objections to the contrary.
Those few hours spent with my beautiful friend were like a recharging of my soul, my battery as such ... and I sorely needed the soul food that she gave me. It was an effort to get there today ... so low on energy, too hot, listless and tearful. But wow, was it worth making myself get off my ass and go ... I've returned with a kickass attitude and a trace of a smile etched upon my heart and soul ...
Hurrah for BFF's. Everywhere. Especially mine. My rock. ILY.