Boo's journey through widowhood: Grief

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Grief

Grief is the price you pay for love.

The price is high ... but is it too high?

No it's not.

Those 15 years I shared with my magical beautiful husband, as well as the years before, as friends ... Oh, every second of this pain. The pain that feels like an amputation without anaesthetic ... Where I STILL feel as though I am bleeding everywhere. He is worth every second of this pain.

After a while ... you learn that time does not exist. Not when you love.

My heart is filling with love.

Little by little - the love is squeezing the pain out of my heart. Slowly but surely.

Love.

7 comments:

meganSeptember 13, 2011 12:17 AM
hello lovely. How nice to read your words.
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bevSeptember 13, 2011 7:51 AM
agree about time and love.
good to see you 'here' today.
take care.

-bev
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abandonedsoulsSeptember 13, 2011 1:39 PM
i always keep you in my thoughts. i also agree about time and love. i wish you peace.
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thelmazSeptember 13, 2011 8:08 PM
Boo, stop by my blog at www.widowsphere.blogspot.com and pick up the Liebster Award. Hugs, Thelma
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DebbieSeptember 14, 2011 12:53 AM
Totally agree that our time together was worth the grief now. I wish he was here to tell that too.... Love to you, Boo!!!!
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Janine (txmomx6)September 15, 2011 6:03 AM
Beautiful, my friend.
As are you.
:)
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BooSeptember 15, 2011 1:21 PM
you know. I wish you could see my face sometimes. When I check my blog and see your comments ... feel the love and solidarity <3
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The Agony of Grief

Grief is a tidal wave that overtakes you, smashes down upon you with unimaginable force, sweeps you up into its darkness, where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces, only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped. Grief means not being able to read more than two sentences at a time. It is walking into rooms with intention that suddenly vanishes. Grief is three o'clock in the morning sweats that won't stop. It is dreadful Sundays, Mondays that are no better. It makes you look for a face in the crowd, knowing full well the face we want cannot be found in that crowd. Grief is utter aloneness that razes the rational mind and makes room for the phantasmagoric. It makes you suddenly get up and leave in the middle of a meeting, without saying a word. Grief makes what others think of you moot.

It shears away the masks of normal life and forces brutal honesty out of your mouth before propriety can stop you.

It shoves away friends, scares away so-called friends, and rewrites address books for you. Grief makes you laugh at people who cry over spilled milk, right to their faces. It tells the world that you are untouchable at the very moment when touch is the only contact that might reach you. It makes lepers out of upstanding citizens. Grief discriminates against no one. It kills. Maims. And cripples. It is the ashes from which the phoenix rises, and the mettle of rebirth. It returns life to the living dead. It teaches that there is nothing absolutely true or untrue. It assures the living that we know nothing for certain. It humbles. It shrouds. It blackens. It enlightens. Grief will make a new person out of you, if it doesn't kill you in the making.

Copyright - Stephanie Ericsson

Welcome to my personal account of my journey through widowhood

On January the 6th 2009 at 3 o'clock in the morning, my beautiful husband, my best friend, my soulmate, the one and only true love of my life took his last breath, and my world altered beyond recognition. This blog is dedicated to him and I intend to share my thoughts and feelings candidly with whoever wants to listen. My reason for writing this journal is to help me slowly heal from this devasting loss, and, longer-term hopefully it will in turn help others as they embark on their own journeys.

memories

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Grief

7 comments: