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Friday, April 29, 2011

Not lying down in the ashes of a forest fire







People who don't get it just want to see you getting better ... they don't understand the length of time that it takes to start a new life when your old life has been completely annihilated ... they probably don't see that your old life has been completely destroyed ... they probably think that, "well, you lost a husband but the rest of your life is still in tact so you just need to carry on," ....










but, in fact, even if the framework looks on the surface like it's still there (you have a good job, a nice house, etc..), the entire landscape (inner landscape) has been destroyed ... how do you carry on walking through the woods after the woods have been burned to the ground? You can walk ... but it is sort of aimless walking ... well, at least it's walking, not lying down in the ash ...







but real walking and enjoying the forest doesn't happen for a long time because you have to wait for new trees to grow!







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Thanks Kendra for your support, as always.

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My old school friend who selflessly helps me through her own pain. She walked through the ashes for a long long time, and as you can see ... the new trees did grow again in her forest. Here she is in that very forest, doing even more than walking.







riding our own waves of grief - together - on a day of calmer seas (Singapore 2010)


5 comments:

  1. so lovely that you have such a friend. powerful lesson here. peace.

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  2. You're so right on about it taking longer than others think it should. That seems to be what bothers people the most. But like you say, an entire life has been shattered. It beats me why there is that attitude that a forest can be rebuilt seemingly overnight...

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  3. I really like this analogy of the decimated forest. It is very realistic. And it sure takes much longer than anyone ever expects it will, for the new trees to start to take root... Glad to have you on this journey through the decimated forest. Love you!

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  4. I really appreciate the your comparison to a burnt forest. What many do not understand is it took how many years to build a strong relationship. To build up your dreams and goals, together. Years of building. Then demolition. So for some of us it does take longer. Thanks for your thoughts they are so true.

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  5. They were my friend's words ... having lost her two year old son suddenly and then qualifying to become a counsellor, I trust her advice (and words).

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