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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Beautiful words



There is no such thing as coincidences on this journey. My lovely and thoughtful friend Lizi gave me this book yesterday. It is no exaggeration to say that its words were the balm that soothed me as I struggled to fall asleep last night. Gibran's words on love and death are inspirational and comforting. He was an extremely talented Lebanese artist and writer who had his share of loss and grief.
My own family history has a strong connection to Gibran's part of the world, my parents spoke of visiting Lebanon on various occasions, with such happiness. I was born in Bahrain (my parents lived there for 15 years) and I can still hear my father speaking fondly about the men he befriended whilst there. Indeed, my first words were Arabic.
As I thanked Lizi for her gift, I shared that I had just - only the night before - found a new blog (http://www.susiehemingway.com/) who writes from her heart about her husband who tragically lost his fight against Multiple Myeloma last year. I was struck by how similar a couple of images she had uploaded onto her blog were to the picture adorning the cover of the book I'd been gifted with, and that one of Gibran's poems was read at her husband's funeral.
And it is no exaggeration to say that Susie's words, along with Gibran's, afforded me more comfort and balm. They touched me and reached out to me in a way that one can't explain, but that widow/ers "get".
Today, the second anniversary of Cliff having a stroke, I had hoped to prove to myself that I could work through it, however my body had other ideas. I awoke this morning to find that my cold had developed into something worse. Throat on fire - causing my voice to sound, somewhat disturbingly, like a man's. Hacking cough. Eyes, ears and nose all affected. So, I called my boss and went back to bed, sleeping away the day.
When I woke up again, I felt so painfully alone and logged onto Facebook and my blog. I read the comforting comments left for me, I saw a couple of people were reading my blog ... and that made me think, "I am not alone." I'm not. Not really. For he is always with me - in my heart - connected to my soul - or other worldly-wise.
My beautiful strong husband, who died so bravely. My baba, whose only thoughts and last words were for me, not himself, even as he was dying.
How lucky I am to have known the love that I have and from such a man.
Tomorrow, I hope I shall be well enough to return to work. Tonight, I hope that I will dream of him.
Inshallah.

4 comments:

  1. My dearest Boo, you are never ever alone. Cliff is always with you, and all your widsters are only an email/call/comment away!! Lots of love you!!! :)
    Oh, and I'm glad that I could make you laugh with my very much non-pc comment for Rachel!! I'm thinking of you tonight, and will hold you and Cliff extremely close to my heart tomorrow!! Love you!!

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  2. You are always in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.

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  3. I'm glad you found some comfort in these tough days. I also believe that there are no such thing as coincidences. I have an old copy of Gibran which I haven't read in years. Your words have inspired me to dig it out. I can always use a balm for my soul.

    Sending you light and love.

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