Tuesday, November 30, 2010

It's snowing

I hate the snow now.

It snowed the last morning Cliff was alive, and now ... every time it snows, those flakes just fill me with so much loss and pain.

I miss him beyond words. It is unspeakable.

Not to mention how vulnerable it makes me feel. I can't drive in it. I worry that if I walk in it I will fall and break an arm or a leg. Then what? How would I cope?

Life is so frightening now.


  1. i completely understand and i am so sorry. i say i am homesick for New England and the ocean but i do not know how i will feel about it should i ever get the chance to see either again. and i agree wholeheartedly. life is so frightening now. i wish you so much peace and light.

  2. thanks S, life is so different now isn't it? *sigh* love and light to you too xx

  3. so overwhelming, to boot. How heavy even the smallest things are to carry by oneself in this new deal.


  4. Thinking of you, Boo.
    And wishing that I had the magic words to make you feel better.
    But there are none.
    As you know.
    Love from Texas ....

  5. Life is different now.
    But look at the snow - it is beautiful. But it isn't your enemy. Just needs treating with respect.
    It scares the heck out of me, so I simply shut down when it snows. If it is bad tomorrow, then don't go anywhere. No one will blame you if it isn't a life or death thing. I was just talking to a friend who took 6 hours to get home. That is just crap. Don't do it. Take a day's holiday if you need to, but don't go in if you are scared.
    It isn't worth it.
    Jxx (in full clucky mode)

  6. Megan, yes everything is hard now!

    Janine - thanks, you are right there are no magic words, but it is magical that you send me love from Texas :-)

    J - you're right it is beautiful, it really is. I am working from home again today ... in fact work has shut the office for 24 hours ... thanks for clucking xx