I haven't been looking after myself very well recently.
Because I've been struggling with this acceptance crap.
I've been very low.
So I ... in a subconscious and warped way ... kind of figured that I could die "softly" from diabetes.
It wouldn't be suicide because it was happening to me (yeah, right ... I realize now that that is a crock of shit).
So I didn't really care if I ate chocolate or not.
Didn't measure my blood sugars for 3 whole months.
Maybe since Australia.
Then I saw this guy on the news talking about his diabetes. He was blind and they had to amputate his foot.
Shit, that woke me up.
I don't mind dying, but I sure don't want them hacking pieces off my body, and I especially don't want to go blind.
I'm looking after myself now.
Cliff would be furious with me too, and as you all know, I don't do stuff that makes him furious because it breaks my heart if I think I am upsetting him.
He is my motivation.
(and keeping my feet and eyesight ;-)