Our friend has a spare key to the house and is due today to collect some of Cliff's scaffolding. (I couldn't face selling it and wanted someone he liked to have it.)
This is the note I left him:
You will have to excuse the state of the house - I've been a bit down recently.
p.s. If the big spider is still in the bath, please can you kill it.
These days I find myself back in that place where I was, almost at the beginning. I only have the energy to go to work, walk my dog and feed myself. The rest of the time I just sit there, staring into space or crying. I look around at the house, disgusted with myself, yet cannot find the energy to tidy or clean. What's the fucking point anyway.