WTF is wrong with me?
I look at random men and feel utter contempt for them.
Because they are not him.
It only seems to be when I am looking at the back of them.
They all look so small and pathetic compared to him ... his physique.
And yet they seem so up themselves that I have to fight not to burst out laughing.
"Hahahahahahaha" I want to laugh right in their faces. "You're not a fucking man. You don't even know what the definition of a man IS." " I married a MAN."
That's what I want to say, but of course, I shan't.
And it's only strangers that affect me in this way. Men that I know, our families, our friends, my colleagues - are all spared my wrath.
But I find myself in a queue for coffee, or at the supermarket, walking my dog, whatever ... and BANG ... off I go with this negativity.
I hate it.
I don't like myself for doing it.
It's nasty, it's unnecessary and I've got to stop it because it's not very nice.