memories

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Friday, August 27, 2010

Moving forward again

thanks to Angela for sharing her student's artwork with me

Amazing.

Truly.

Amazing.



What a difference a day makes.

Another sunrise.

Having contact with other people.

Just being around people.

Being back at work.

Getting a hug (or two).

Seeing your counsellor for 40 minutes.

Seeing your closest girlfriend for an hour.

Keeping food in your body again.

Being told off for not reaching out for help.

Admitting your darkest thoughts to someone and them not looking at you as though you are crazy or seeking attention.

Helping someone else.

Being able to look back, analyze with a little objectivity and logic, and deduce that you've crossed another hurdle, ridden out another tsunami, that you are only human ....

that you haven't let your husband or yourself down.

Seeing the joy on a friend's face when you make a surprise visit.

Realizing that you are looking forward to seeing your friend get married.

Caring enough about your appearance to dye your hair and shave your legs, file your nails etc etc for the wedding of the year.

Accepting that you have lost some of your driving confidence, and it's okay to drive like an old lady for a few days.

Being reminded how in tune I still am with him and what he taught me. That I can still smile when people go back on their word, and act true to form. That I have no fear. Not really. That when people step away, that my sixth sense, or his, immediately kicks in. That I still hear and listen to his voice.

Being told that you are loved.

Smiling again. Even if it's wryly.

And with all due respect to everyone, above all, being supported throughout by your widowed friends and being astounded, once again, at just how huge their hearts are.

And being given the gift of comfort, in the form of a youtube video, by one of her oldest, dearest friends, once again, on the very day that I needed to listen to it most. Anyone who has lost someone to a stroke ... please share this with them. There are no words ...

5 comments:

  1. Beautifully written. Such renewed optimism. This is a great list. It reminds me to look at the gifts that can also be present with grief.

    I love you very much.

    Dan

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  2. Beautiful post and great reminders. When life seems bleak, the sun still comes out tomorrow and there are many ways that our hearts can be lifted again. So glad you're feeling better. Hope you're having a wonderful time at the wedding of the year!

    Love ya!

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  3. I'm glad you are feeling better. I didn't realize how sick you have been.

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  4. The wedding was wonderful, I felt so privileged to have shared their day ... I love you guys to bits too :-)

    xxx

    "The simple things" by Joe Cocker is about this precisely and a song that we used to listen to a lot <3

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  5. What a lovely post. So glad you're moving forward again.

    ReplyDelete