Sunday, August 22, 2010

Have I been running away?

I changed up all the foreign money in my purse this week.

Since Cliff died I have collected currency from the following countries:

France, Belgium, Germany, Holland - Euros



USA - Savannah, San Diego




In 19 months, that's quite a list, considering it's all personal travel, not business.

And I'm off to Bulgaria in October.

Think I'll conquer Africa and Canada next year.

Running away is good.

Running away is much much better than facing reality.

Isn't it?


  1. If it works for you...
    What's wrong with putting off facing reality if it means you are stronger when you finally do? I was the other way around - I needed to be at home and manically doing stuff. Now I fully intend to do more travelling next year.

  2. J - thank you for reminding me that there is no right way or wrong way for this xx

  3. I think that you're finding your way in your own way, and there's nothing wrong with that! I am excited to see Canada on your list for next year! We're a big country, but I hope you find yourself somewhere near me so we can reconnect!

    Have you registered for Camp Widow 2011 yet? I see you've got the countdown going!

    Sometimes we have to run away to find our way back home. You do what you need to do.

    Love Deb

  4. Canada is on my list because I am inviting myself to stay with you LOL.

    I haven't registered but just had to start another countdown ;-) ... it helps to have things to look forward to xxx

  5. i echo all before me. you need to do it your way. think of how many wonderful places and people you've seen, and all you will have to tell Cliff when you see him again.

  6. yes you are right :-) I think that I am in the place I am in today because I did travel and rest and see old trusted friends. It all helped me to take stock of this brave new world and really step away and look at the whole thing objectively (well almost!) x

    p.s. I think Cliff flew around with me :-) but I'm still going to make him listen to all my tales

  7. Traveling isn't an escape. I don't think you can run away for that matter. :-) This grief, the memory is always with us, no matter where. I love to travel, too... Brent was from New Zealand. I so wish I could go back. Maybe I will next year with baby in tow.

    Thank you for the comments on my blog. I can't open the link as I'm out of Great Britain. It tells me I'm not allowed to watch it. So much for living in a free country... Haha. Maybe you can tell me the title & I will see if I can find it.

    Blessings to you!

  8. Hey Cadi, you must be fit to burst right now :-) Have you read Hyla Molander's blog? Just thought you might identify with it because she was pregnant when she was widowed too ... her link is in my blog roll x

    The song is Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" - it's a powerful song and I will warn you now that it may reduce you to tears HUGS

  9. Hi Boo.

    I haven't had the opportuniity to travel since Michael left this world, those damn kids, but have made this move. What I find is that any place I go, Michael remains with me. His spirit is in my heart, as Cliff is in yours. You have found a way to nurture your spirit through travel, so you should feel good about that. You are such a wonderful person, and in spite of your grief, you have the capacity to share so much joy. I feel like I have been a lucky recipient of that joy.

    Keep trusting yourself. I also like the updated look on your blog. Maybe it too signifies changes you are going through.

    Love you. Dan

  10. that book you posted about on Facebook looks amazing!! I'm so going to order it. Thanks for the link!

    p.s. do what you need to and go where you need to go. whatever it takes to survive is what's necessary.


  11. 唯有用熱情、用智慧去觀察事物,這事物才會把他的秘密,洩漏給我們......................................................................

  12. Dan, thanks so much for your words. A friend sent me a poem today that echo them, and I will share it on my blog in a few minutes. I think my travels have helped me ... they have proved that I can do this even if I don't feel like doing it all the time.

    Sarah, I'm glad you are ordering the book. I swear it saved me in my third month into this journey. I read it three times!

    Love to you both xx

  13. In my book, I called this phenomenon "zooming," where you are constantly on the move to essentially escape an empty house. The kicker is that you always have to return to one as well.

    It worked for me for quite a while until one day I realized I was tired. Like really tired and so like Forest Gump, I just stopped running.

    We all do what we need to do in order to muddle through. The good news is that you have traveled to many more interesting places than I did (Toronto in Jan??) which is very excellent.


  14. Gosh, I wish I could travel like that. I'm too broke. Someday I won't be broke and I can start collecting foreign currency again. Hats off to you. :) (I was widowed last November. Jobless since January.)