This is me. This is Boo. When we first watched "Monsters Inc", Cliff laughed his head off because he thought that "Boo" in the movie was very similar to me. Especially when the big monster roared at her (to scare her), and she giggled, "Kittie" raising her arms to be hugged by him. Cliff and many of his closest friends used to laugh at my ability to meet some pretty scarey individuals and bring out the soft side of them, retorting to his friends, "he's lovely."
"To you, maybe ..." they would laugh.
I shan't lose the Boo in me. That is the Boo who Cliff fell in love with. The Boo who sees the good in people, and who sees the softness ... however ... I had the luxury of being loved and protected by a man who most would not choose to cross or anger intentionally.
My Cliffy is not here in a physical sense anymore. I still seek reassurance from him, but I am beginning to understand that I always had it in me - he simply gave me the confidence - he made me believe that I could do what I have accomplished so far. It's hard to continue without his counsel, without the safety net ... but my husband overcame adversity after adversity during his life, and he never gave up. Not once. Not only that, he never let any experience embitter him, or change him. This is my ambition ... to do the same.
I need to retain the optimism by seeing the good in people, keep the trust (but be more selective), and take a leaf out of Buzz Lightyear's attitude.
He believed he could fly. And so, in the end, he did. Right now, I am looking at the world as a mere observer, not fully participating. I need to take that leap ... and rejoin the land of the living (albeit taking Cliff along for the ride).
to infinity and beyond, onwards and upwards
I can identify with his catchphrase, especially knowing that infinity and beyond is waiting for me at the very end of this journey, whenever that may happen to be. I need to have the courage, just to believe I can truly do this.
And I will.