Thursday, January 14, 2010

Life is good

Shit. Did I really write that?

Well today it is. I feel good.

I've got through a year and a week. I'm not stupid. I know that the second year is as hard as the first.

But I've got through a year and a week. That fact has proved to me that I can do another year and a week. I'll just enjoy the happiness and strength while it's here. No more, no less. I don't expect anything else.

I've had enough of getting on my own nerves. I'm done with being weak all the time. I want some of "me" back - the strength, the laughter and a bit of recklessness. Where has the girl gone that is in my photos? Where is she? I need a bit of her back.

I can feel her coming alive again though. Her heart has started beating again, instead of faintly pulsating.


  1. i'm happy for you. you're going to get "you" back. i hope this feeling lasts and lasts.......

  2. I'll be brutally honest. It won't (last and last). But I can enjoy it while it's here. Learn to live again in the moment, nothing more.

    For me, it's a massive step in moving on.

    Bring on August. Keep thinking of sunshine and August xx

  3. All I can do is smile after reading this!! :)

  4. Wow, I'm so impressed and inspired by you! I hope it lasts as long as you need it to. Ride this wave and enjoy the ride. I look forward to feeling good. I can see it out in front of me but it's just out of my grasp right now.

    I'm thinking a lot about sun and friends in San Diego too!

    Have a good weekend! Love Deb

  5. I'm glad you got a bit of your old self back, at least for a little while. I know what you mean though, about lasting...I still don't have "me" back completely, and don't think I ever will. Had to learn, and still trying to learn, to create a new "me". I don't like it, but nothing we can do about that, but enjoy the days we do feel good, and can say, yes life is good today.

    I'm glad you are having a good day, I hope you have many more to come.

  6. Jude and Mandy, thanks for cheering me on x

    Deb - I hope you are starting to come out of the darkness now that your birthday has gone ... for me it is always the day after that is the worst x

    Carrieboo - yes we do ... I can see it clearly right now - it's almost like I lost my identity, not to mention myself ... and now I am having to find my old self again, but I have changed ... can't describe how, but something within me (before and thru my marriage) has fundamentally changed.