I woke up this morning and realized that I'm not married anymore.
That is frightening and liberating at the same time.
Last night I spent some time with a friend of Cliff's (and mine) and I told him that something inside me has broken and won't ever be fixed. He told me that he thought it was probably impossible to fix me completely back to the way I was ... but that he could see the happiness in me again ... that it was ok to move on ... that Cliff would want me to live again.
I feel alive again.
He knows, because he's gone further away from me, I can feel him leaving.
Part of me wants to scream, "come back, I'm not ready."
and part of me wants to whisper, "I'll be ok, it's alright for you to go."
So I've said both. I think he's smiling for me.