There are cars driving down my road this morning, which means that I will be able to go to work tomorrow. Hoorah!
It also means that I have to find the shovel and clear the snow off my drive.
I've never had to do that before.
I can do it, but it feels wrong.
It is something that Cliff would have done. I actually half expected him to rescue me, hence my choice of picture for this post ... although if the photo were actually of him, he'd have been muscular with a much cuter backside, and adorned with the broadest, shapeliest back and shoulders that you ever saw.
I never had a problem with the fact that our relationship was equal, YET ...
when push came to shove, HIS was the final decision we agreed upon.
I've always been happy being a woman, and never desired to be a man. I always knew that I was lucky ... that sometimes the hardest decisions were not mine to make, nor was I accountable for them. And I always respected him for that.
When you are married to an alpha male, to be privileged to have that light shine upon you, bathe you gently ... only to have it abruptly taken away ...
is cruel. It makes it so hard.
I miss you, Baba, each and every day ... and not just because I've got to shovel snow.