Monday, August 24, 2009

The Pearl Fishers

Today I am missing my Dad as well as Cliff. I mean really missing my Dad in a way that I haven't for years. I think they shared a lot of traits and strengths, and were both "real men". They both worked damn hard to make sure that I had things and experiences and opportunities that I might not have had otherwise. They would have both died for me. My Dad always told me that, "men are a dying breed" and that he could finally die in peace because I had finally found a man.

It doesn't seem right that I was privileged to have had this father and this husband - worlds apart from others - to have them snatched cruelly away. It sure as hell doesn't feel fair to Cliff that he died at 52 - if there ever was a man who knew how to live, and lived, really lived ... it was him.

Then I remind myself, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Given the choice, it's a no-brainer ... I would absolutely, in a heartbeat ... rather that I had this father and this husband above any other ... even if it meant that I had to lose them. Hell, yes.

If my sister Honey is reading this, don't click on the YouTube links unless you want to have a good cry ... this is the soundtrack of our childhood, although I have not included "I want to be like you" from The Jungle Book, and "Shall we Dance" from the King and I etc. - but we listened to those ones with Mom :-)

Below is a selection of music that my father loved with a passion. He had the most amazing tenor voice, and I remember him performing/singing all of the tenor parts below. The soprano additions are pieces that he loved to listen to. I learned to sing at boarding school ... he paid for the professional lessons ... yet never got to hear me sing ... that's my regret about my Daddy.

My favourite is the Pearl Fishers ... and we need to get the old reel-to-reel tape recording that we have of him singing it with a friend in Bahrain, re-recorded onto a CD. Most of all because, even though they are singing it beautifully, they are in fact shit-faced ... and you hear one of them fall off their bar stool, swear, get back on, and carry on .... just like true professionals :-)


  1. Losing anyone is hard. I lost my mom when I was 9 and my dad when I was 22. I think the missing part definitely was re-awakened when David died.

    It just seems so unfair that most everyone I have ever loved I lost in this way. They were all young and it happened suddenly. Didn't get to say goodbye to either of my parents which has haunted me for years.

    The links are awesome!

    ((HUGS))and good thoughts coming your way.

  2. L - we are the same ... all three people (Mom, Dad, Husband) who would always love us no matter what ... we have lost. But you lost your Mom very very young - that must have scarred your soul at that young tender age ... I am sorry, I was 29 when my Mom died, and 32 when Dad died, 44 when Cliff died, and I thought that was too young.

    Glad you enjoyed the music :-)

  3. The duet from the Pearl Fishers is so beautiful - it's one that really sends a shiver down the spine.
    My Dad had a wonderful voice as well. He was brilliant at harmonies, something I can't do unless I have the music in front of me.
    So many people gone before, sometimes it is so hard to take in that they have all gone.

  4. Yes I absolutely love that duet ... when my sister and I eventually sort the old reel-to-reels out I will upload it :-)

    Yes it is hard to take in isn't it. I told someone the other day that I carried Cliff in my heart, along with my Mom, Dad and dog. No wonder it feels so heavy these days.

    You are up late too tonight ... am busy with work too and have a lot of projects to get through. Instead of tiring me to sleep, it is all making my hyper ... so am logging off in a mo and have a very hot jacuzzi then zzzzzzzzz. I have missed you!

  5. Boo
    I have had this blog for some time, but never knew how to really use it. I spent a great deal of time figuring it out on Saturday, as I was having a pretty big meltdown. I made that photo memory with music the other day, and it broke my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. I am at 11 months out, and unfortunatley I feel as if I am hitting rock bottom. I have never felt such pain...I suppose it reflects the intense love I have for him. Yes, he was an absolute character, who made me laugh all the time. I wish he was here now to help put a smile on my face. I am sorry that you are having some grief bursts with the loss of your father. The pain of a loss never goes away.

  6. Diana, thank you for caring. I think you are right ... I think that we never get over losing them, nor do we stop loving them ... but after an ocean of tears and a whole lot of time, as long as it takes ...we eventually learn to adjust to our lives and cope, but that we never go back to the way we were before. I wish none of us had to go through this. I never thought I'd say this ... but I would love to live in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, where we could have gone to die as couples together, rather than as individuals ... I claim poetic licence!

  7. Boo, we do seem to both float around a lot in the wee small hours. Let me know if you ever fancy a chat, rather than just bloggy messaging.

    J xxx