Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Mustard, thumbprints and sleeping tablets

Isn't it remarkable that we find pride in the smallest achievements now?

I have finally wiped off his mustard smeared thumbprint inside my fridge, along with throwing away his almost empty pot of mustard AND I FEEL SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!!

And it only took me 7 months and 1 week.

One of our Senior Managers at work told me that he thought I was "coping admirably outwardly at least" and asked what my coping mechanisms were. I confided that, "I aim low. If I don't, I feel like I am failing and that sends me backwards fast". He laughed and agreed that it was a good strategy :-)

I haven't slept for the past three nights, and have had to concede that I need some sleeping tablets, just for a few days, to help me train my body and mind into the pattern of sleeping again. It's unbelieveable - I feel so exhausted all the time, yet when my head hits the pillow, my brain goes into overdrive, sleep does not come ... causing me to get more and more upset and stressed ... clock-watching ... until daylight comes ... then I can feel it coming to me. WTF? If Cliff were here he'd tell me that I'd slept enough over the years to get by without any for at least a month ;-) ... unfortunately sleep doesn't work like that, so bring on the drugs.

YAWN ......


  1. Ooh. You've changed! Like the new look.

    I think you are probably right to try the sleeping tablets, just for a little while. Lack of sleep just drags you down, particularly over a sustained period, and it is so easy to get in a downward spiral.

    And congratulations on the babystep!!!

  2. I took Ambien CR for a couple of months after...and, unfortunately, I'm taking them again. Like you, I'm tired, I go to bed and WHAM--my brain turns on. I keep a notebook by the bed to write it all down and get it out but it doesn't really work. So get some stuff and get some zzzz's :)

    And, I LOVE the new look! Snazzy!!

    Lynette xoxo

  3. thanks both :-) Just clicked on "get new template" but quite like pinks and greys.

    Dr gave me 30 x diazepam (2 mg only) which I used to use for flying, so they should chill me out enough to zzzzzzzzzzzzz

  4. Hope you had a better night's sleep last night. xxx

  5. Have you tried hypnosis? It cured my stud groom from smoking. I hate drugs of all sorts.

    As to myself, I've never had problems sleeping. Either I'm lucky or strong willed.

  6. hypnosis didn't work on quitting smoking, so I have a feeling that it won't help now ... I'm comfortable taking such a low dosage :-)

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