Sunday, July 12, 2009

Some coping mechanism ideas for July 21st

Here are some ideas, courtesy of an article written by Marty Tousley:

If you’re a writer, write - it could be an article, an anecdote, a story, a poem, a song, a letter, an obituary or a eulogy. If you don’t want to write for someone else, keep a private journal and write about your feelings as you journey through your grief.

Buy a very special candle, decorate it and light it in honor of your loved one.

Purchase a book - perhaps a children’s book - on coping with the loss of a loved one, and donate it to your local library or school. Ask the librarian to place a label inside the front cover inscribed “In memory of [your loved one's name].”

Plant a tree, bush, shrub, garden or flower bed as a permanent growing memorial to your beloved. Mark the site with a memorial plaque, marker, bench or statue.

Memorialize your beloved in cyberspace by lighting a virtual candle at Light a Candle Online.

Write a special note, letter, poem, wish or prayer to your beloved, go outside, attach the paper to a balloon and let it go - or place it in a vessel and burn it, and watch the smoke rise heavenward.
If you are harboring bad feelings or regrets, gather symbols to represent those hurtful or painful situations, events, or feelings from your past, place them in a container and hold a private burial or burning ceremony, saying goodbye and releasing them as you do so.

Ask relatives, friends, co-workers and neighbors to gather their contributions, and put together a scrapbook or box of memories containing mementoes, letters and photographs of your loved one.

Celebrate the life of your loved one by continuing favorite traditions or eating favorite foods.
Select a Valentine card that you wish your beloved would have picked for you, and mail it to yourself.

Give yourself a gift from your loved one that you always wished he or she would have given you, and think of your beloved whenever you use it or wear it.

Copyright - Marty Tousley (Article:


  1. Thank you for posting these!!! They are all GREAT suggestions!

    I go to the candle sight often :)

  2. me too! I've decided to write a note and attach it to a balloon and release it from my garden (with my dogs). Going to go to work during the day ... and do the ballon in the evening, then invite some friends over for a couple of drinks. Will also do the candle site and light a real one. And pour him a drink too, like I did on his birthday ... think it's going to hurt of course, but having gone through both our birthdays,I kind of know what to expect.

    Last year on our anniversary, I sat on the sofa with our wedding photo album and scrapbook (includes honeymoon pix) and he said, "oh darling are you looking thru the photos and everything" - and he stopped to sit down and look through them with me :-)