in two hours, it will have been exactly six months since the most special magical man ... the man who was and still somehow is my world, took his last breath. I am amazed that I have survived these months if I'm brutally honest. But I have. I've learned a lot and surprised myself with forgotten and new-found strengths, as well as discovering the depths that I can sink to. The biggest shock is that, even though I didn't think it possible, it feels as though I actually love him more than I did before he died.
If I could speak to him right here, right now ... one of the things that I'd tell him is that despite the almost unspeakable pain, every second of it is worth the fifteen years that I shared with him.
... oh and I'd expect some praise for the excellent job Vern and I made of valeting his white van yesterday.
Finally, I'd ask him to hold Frankie's hand, to ensure that she feels safe. Our friend Gary called me today to let me know that she died at 14h00 today.