Sunday, July 12, 2009

Not sure about this ...

I THINK it would be nice to buy this to wear all the time because it can hold a tiny amount of Cliff's ashes, and a lock of hair and rose petal from his wreath.

But I'm not entirely sure ... hmmm. I like the idea, and then again I'm not sure that I do.

However, the thought of scattering ALL his ashes fills me with the notion of panic and sorrow ... more loss really ... so it MIGHT be a good idea?

I'll have to ponder on this some more.

The issue I have in all seriousness is this. Never in my entire life, have I ever ever purchased myself jewellry. Cliff had impeccable taste in jewellry that he chose and bought for me. The thought of buying something for myself just makes me feel so damn sad ... and especially as it's for this purpose.

But still ... I'm leaning towards buying it ... or this one because it's more reasonably priced and that sits more comfortably with me.


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  2. I have often wondered what I would do with R's ashes if he had been cremated. I am pretty sure that they would still be in the house with me now, and that my and his family would be gently nagging me to do something with them. I totally understand your feeling of panic at the thought of scattering him. I think I would need to bury them, rather than scatter, so I had a set place at which to visit him. But that is just the way I am - I seem to have a really visceral need to feel that he and I are rooted in a place where we can grow together, if that doesn't sound too woo-woo for words.

    The locket is pretty though, and its purpose is not obvious at all.
    I have actually bought myself a couple of pieces of jewellery recently. Nothing expensive - just a couple of fun things, but I am quite enjoying wearing them and have had quite a few compliments. They seem somehow symbolic of the new me.

  3. Right now, most of David is sitting in a box on my entertainment center, right where I can see him. I have plans to take some of him to England, Ireland, Wales and France. I have to keep some though--I need to have him with me always.

    I looked at cremation jewelry and didn't find anything that I liked.

    What I did find was a gal on one of my widow support sites. She works in glass and made me a glass bead with some of David's ashes.

    Are you on Facebook? If so, look me up: Lynette Edsall. There is a picture of David's bead on my page and I am a friend to Cherie's business. She does beautiful work.

  4. J - that's not woo-woo at all :-) I guess that by keeping a tiny part of the ashes, it will give me the same feeling as you describe actually. I like the locket - it is simple and pretty (AND NOT MORBID :-)

    L - I'll find you on Facebook :-) and see the beadwork ... that is a lovely idea. I'm just a bit OCD'ish about his ashes and don't want anyone else touching him ... I was the same when arranging the funeral and would only allow friends/family to arrange anything related to the day/him. Even the wreath of roses for the coffin ... I insisted on driving miles to see his friend's sister, because she was connected to us. Grief sure makes us act and think weird, huh?!!!! At least I laugh at myself :-)

    When you coming over the Europe - we could meet up for dinner/drinks/whatever ...