Saturday, July 25, 2009

Little Gems

A young friend told me that she thought of Cliff's death as the worst news she had ever been told. Quite a profound statement, I thought. When I probed her to quantify this, she explained that she had always considered our marriage the "ideal" ... and that she saw us as role models for her own relationship with her long-term boyfriend, that she respected us for what we had and how we were.

Occasionally I am speechless, albeit rare ... this was one of those occasions.

I thought it was lovely that she shared these thoughts with me and the after effect is positive ... those words will give me comfort and stay with me for some time, if not forever.

Another older friend left me a message on Facebook (on our wedding anniversary) which said, "My thoughts are with you my friend. I can't say I understand - I wasn't lucky enough to find a love like yours, Boo. My love to you always. Chin up x x x x x".

A colleague who is more of a friend also regularly reminds me that she is envious, despite how strange that sounds, of what I had. Because she hasn't.

More comfort. And yet again I find myself thinking that I was so lucky, still am lucky actually, to have had with Cliff, for fifteen years, what some never find in an entire lifetime.

Not only that, I am so fortunate, I know, to have these people in my life ... these people who know what to say to me - a rare gift.


  1. Wow--isn't that great when people come up with stuff like that out of the blue?! The gal I went on holiday with said that she hoped someday to find what David and I had when I told her he'd passed away.

    These people get it and that is a great thing for those of us on this crappy journey huh!

  2. What lovely words to hear. They do help, however bittersweet they might be.
    And for all the pain now, the years that went before were so worth it, weren't they?

  3. L - that is so true. Some people are graced with empathy even without having lost someone close. I think before I lost Cliff, I had sympathy,but not convince I had empathy, not really. xx

    J - oh yes. I really do agree with that ... every second of this pain is worth the wonderful 15 years. I wouldn't change a second of my time with him (apart from the end naturally). Good to see you back hon xx