Feeling scared was an emotion that was alien to me all the time I was with Cliff. The only thing that scared me was the thought of him dying.
Now I seem to be scared of all kinds of stuff - thunder, lightning, drunk people, strangers ringing my doorbell, the list is endless ...
One of my girlfriends was burgled yesterday. They took everything of value, sentimental and otherwise. I'm just relieved that she wasn't in and that she's ok, but of course she is heartbroken because they stole her late grandmother's jewellry box amongst other things. The heartless bastards.
It's left me unsettled. What if I get burgled? What if they hurt my dogs?
Some time ago I put my wedding photos and some other sentimental items in our safe, in case of fire or flood, never mind burglary, and this makes me feel a bit better.
Perversely, I'm not scared of being burgled whilst I'm in ... perhaps because I secretly relish the idea of attacking one of these slimeballs with Cliff's samurai sword ... hmmm, maybe I should let Shaun have the sword NOW. When Shaun's son was born, Cliff bequeathed that sword to Shay. Yes, I think I might give him a call and arrange a safe handover ASAP, because Cliff always told me to never pick up a weapon they can take off you.