Thursday, July 23, 2009

Feeling scared

Feeling scared was an emotion that was alien to me all the time I was with Cliff. The only thing that scared me was the thought of him dying.

Now I seem to be scared of all kinds of stuff - thunder, lightning, drunk people, strangers ringing my doorbell, the list is endless ...

One of my girlfriends was burgled yesterday. They took everything of value, sentimental and otherwise. I'm just relieved that she wasn't in and that she's ok, but of course she is heartbroken because they stole her late grandmother's jewellry box amongst other things. The heartless bastards.

It's left me unsettled. What if I get burgled? What if they hurt my dogs?

Some time ago I put my wedding photos and some other sentimental items in our safe, in case of fire or flood, never mind burglary, and this makes me feel a bit better.

Perversely, I'm not scared of being burgled whilst I'm in ... perhaps because I secretly relish the idea of attacking one of these slimeballs with Cliff's samurai sword ... hmmm, maybe I should let Shaun have the sword NOW. When Shaun's son was born, Cliff bequeathed that sword to Shay. Yes, I think I might give him a call and arrange a safe handover ASAP, because Cliff always told me to never pick up a weapon they can take off you.


  1. He's right about the weapon...don't keep it around.

    I was so scared after David passed away too. I wouldn't even take Cody out into the backyard at night to do his business because I was convinced that there was someone waiting just around the corner of the house I could not see. All the noises that I had heard that were normal now scared the hell out of me.

    So, one bright and sunny day, I walked the entire house from top to bottom to prove to myself there were no boogie men in the closets or dark corners. And now I watch Cody to see if he hears something he doesn't like. It works. I also contacted a friend of mine on the police force and asked if they would drive through my neighborhood more often and they do. That helps.

    Another widow said that she got one of those signs that says you have an alarm system, even though she didn't, and she feels better just knowing it is there.

    I am sorry to hear about your friend's burglary. I just don't get people who do that!


  2. Lynette, I know ... I am going to pass it on to Shaun for his son. It's such a "masculine" possession anyway. Hugs to you x