Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I understand why women in the Middle East ululate now. Last night I felt like doing it myself. Instead I sat on his couch for the longest time rocking myself, like the insane do, literally SCREAMING for him and crying so hard that I almost threw up.

Fred kept licking the tears off my face and at one point I had to pick up Barney because he'd started shaking with fear.

Today I am EXHAUSTED but I'm here. So far, so good ... feeling stronger and looking forward to seeing Faye, David and their new baby Benjamin this evening.


  1. My heart feels for you.

    I lost my sife of forty years in December 2007 and it all hurts still.

    But at least, I've found a fellow widow to travel with and we enjoy ourselves hugely. Whether it will last I do not know.

    The Anonymous Widower

    P.S. I'm actually James, but the blog nick is to show how I sometimes feel!

  2. James, thank you for your kind words. I like your blog name. Keep travelling! We loved it and have decided that I still shall, just differently. Instead of staying at those gorgeous 5 star resorts, I'm opting to visit friends and stay with them. Luckily, I'm a boarding school child, hence have plenty of offers ;-)

  3. I remember one solid 24 hour period early in my widowhood that I sat in his chair just crying. I don't think I moved much during that whole is pretty fuzzy.

    I guess maybe it is a good thing to get the emotions out but when it is happening--it really sucks.

    Take care of yourself ((HUGS))

  4. thx for the hugs :-)

    A little stronger today :-)

    Yes, I really believe in embracing the emotions as hard as it is xx