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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Ululating

I understand why women in the Middle East ululate now. Last night I felt like doing it myself. Instead I sat on his couch for the longest time rocking myself, like the insane do, literally SCREAMING for him and crying so hard that I almost threw up.

Fred kept licking the tears off my face and at one point I had to pick up Barney because he'd started shaking with fear.

Today I am EXHAUSTED but I'm here. So far, so good ... feeling stronger and looking forward to seeing Faye, David and their new baby Benjamin this evening.

4 comments:

  1. My heart feels for you.

    I lost my sife of forty years in December 2007 and it all hurts still.

    But at least, I've found a fellow widow to travel with and we enjoy ourselves hugely. Whether it will last I do not know.

    The Anonymous Widower

    P.S. I'm actually James, but the blog nick is to show how I sometimes feel!

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  2. James, thank you for your kind words. I like your blog name. Keep travelling! We loved it and have decided that I still shall, just differently. Instead of staying at those gorgeous 5 star resorts, I'm opting to visit friends and stay with them. Luckily, I'm a boarding school child, hence have plenty of offers ;-)

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  3. I remember one solid 24 hour period early in my widowhood that I sat in his chair just crying. I don't think I moved much during that whole time...it is pretty fuzzy.

    I guess maybe it is a good thing to get the emotions out but when it is happening--it really sucks.

    Take care of yourself ((HUGS))

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  4. thx for the hugs :-)

    A little stronger today :-)

    Yes, I really believe in embracing the emotions as hard as it is xx

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