Friday, June 26, 2009

Food and stuff

I love Italian food (and Mexican) and because I have my main meal at work these days, surviving on cereal in the evenings (and at weekends), it was nice to find them serving penne and bolognese sauce in the restaurant today. The last time I cooked Italian food was the day before Cliff's funeral - for his family. And I very much associate angel hair pasta with Cliff ... why is it so difficult to get hold of these days? When Cliff found some, he bought 4 bags of it and I am now half way through the last bag. I just can't face using it up ... I know it will make me howl. I guess I should be more pragmatic ... i.e. you're going to howl anyway, so why not eat the pasta, but it's so damn hard ...

... but not as hard as clearing his van out will be this weekend. My stomach is doing back-flips just thinking about it. Maybe I'm not ready. But I know he'd be cross with me if I don't. I've got to sell it. Perhaps I'll clear out the front and see how I cope with that, and if I'm not too bad, then when Vern stays on Saturday, he can help me clear out the rest of it. Besides, I don't know how to charge the battery.

The next hurdle after that is to ask Gary to come and finish the new roof. There's only a few tiles left to go on, and it will be hard to watch someone else standing up there, but I don't have any option. Besides, Cliff would want Gary to do it ... and I've got to keep my shit together for this one because I know that it will be upsetting for Gary to get up there ... and I'd rather he simply focussed on staying on the roof. He's probably wondering why I haven't already been back in touch to agree a date.

I'll get there baba, I promise.


  1. David was a pasta-head. Whenever we didn't know what to eat, he would make a big bowl of pasta and, sometimes, home made sauce, and be happy as a clam.

    The last bag of pasta thing happened to me too. The day before he died, we went shopping at an Italian market and we bought a really good, and really expensive, jarred pasta sauce. We planned to eat that the following weekend.

    A couple of months ago, I finally served it over the pasta we bought to go with it.

    And I cried the whole time I was eating it. But I did it, it was wonderful, and I tried to think about my "pasahead" enjoying it through me.

    (HUGS) and Peace...Lynette

  2. My thoughts are with you, Boo. (((HUGS)))

  3. Lynette, I think that's the answer actually. We kind of turn into their legacy in a way ... we try our best to be as good as people as they were ... and share that with others. Right down to enjoying pasta. I like that thought and will hold onto it xx

    Andrea - I've just added you to my "Follow Blog" list. I am so so sorry for the dreadful experience that you have had to and are still having to live through. Hugs

  4. Sounds like you are on a roll. Keep up the good work, girl. As you say, you're going to howl anyway, so while you have the energy it is good to get some of these jobs done.

    I had a particularly dramatic battery-charging meltdown - it was in the early days while I was still manically doing things. I rang a friend down the road, and must have sounded hysterical as she and her husband leapt into the car and were here within minutes to sort me out.
    It was all very embarrassing as I recall!!

  5. J - yes, I hate the dependance that I now have on others ... I didn't mind having that with Cliff, but that was different. There is so much to learn. OMG, I even had to ask one of his friends where our gas and electric meters were when it was time to read them!