I love Italian food (and Mexican) and because I have my main meal at work these days, surviving on cereal in the evenings (and at weekends), it was nice to find them serving penne and bolognese sauce in the restaurant today. The last time I cooked Italian food was the day before Cliff's funeral - for his family. And I very much associate angel hair pasta with Cliff ... why is it so difficult to get hold of these days? When Cliff found some, he bought 4 bags of it and I am now half way through the last bag. I just can't face using it up ... I know it will make me howl. I guess I should be more pragmatic ... i.e. you're going to howl anyway, so why not eat the pasta, but it's so damn hard ...
... but not as hard as clearing his van out will be this weekend. My stomach is doing back-flips just thinking about it. Maybe I'm not ready. But I know he'd be cross with me if I don't. I've got to sell it. Perhaps I'll clear out the front and see how I cope with that, and if I'm not too bad, then when Vern stays on Saturday, he can help me clear out the rest of it. Besides, I don't know how to charge the battery.
The next hurdle after that is to ask Gary to come and finish the new roof. There's only a few tiles left to go on, and it will be hard to watch someone else standing up there, but I don't have any option. Besides, Cliff would want Gary to do it ... and I've got to keep my shit together for this one because I know that it will be upsetting for Gary to get up there ... and I'd rather he simply focussed on staying on the roof. He's probably wondering why I haven't already been back in touch to agree a date.
I'll get there baba, I promise.