I'm not saying that I'm getting excited, but half of my stuff is already in the car, ready to go.
I love to be with them all because it's ALMOST like my previous life then ... but not. It feels good to get excited about something though FOR THE FIRST TIME :-)
I know that Cliff will be watching me driving all the way. Thank you Cliffy for buying me the satnav. I wish that he was going to be there to supervize my first time driving abroad, but I've got his sister and she has TONS of patience with me.
Just need to be careful when turning into a road and on roundabouts. At least most of it is on autobahns/freeways. Jean and Rudi may find they are following US ;-)
My emotions are trampolining around as I expected ... excitement, sadness, fear, more excitement. This trip and wedding will be bittersweet for me and for all of us, but I am DETERMINED to enjoy people when I am with them. Now that I am at the four month stage, my grieving has turned into a private affair ... just me and him in the evenings, just as it always was. I will use the shower to cry in and WILL AVOID THE BEACH at all costs because I know that it is too soon ... too painful. Even hearing waves lap on a shore on TV sets me off. It is HIM. My beautiful Piscean husband.
I think I can do this.