memories

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Monday, April 13, 2009

Mysteries


Are fairies putting out my bin every week?

Because I am not.

Perhaps I should ask my neighbour Paul if he is doing it for me because he knows that Cliff always did it, and he realizes I won’t remember.

Or have the refuse collectors become more flexible?

Doubt it.

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I am scared. The door to the hot tub house was wide open this morning. Now I am worrying that someone is creeping around in the night, stealing, TOUCHING HIS STUFF that is stored in there. HIS TOOLS. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S IN THERE BECAUSE THERE ARE SPIDERS IN THERE. I’M SURE THERE ARE.

Mental note to self: ask Paul and Vern if the door was pad-locked.

Buy a heavy duty padlock and put it on the door, then DON’T LOSE THE DAMN KEY.

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God, I MISS HIM. I feel so useless and stupid all the time now. I don’t know ANYTHING anymore. I don’t know how to do anything. I’m not capable, I’m not ready for this.

Can I do this? Can I? Is there ANY chance of me getting my shit together? EVER?

I miss you.

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