Monday, April 13, 2009


I received a joke via text today from Kim.

A couple make a deal that whoever dies first will come back and tell the other about the afterlife. The husband dies first and makes contact with Gladys, his wife.

Is that you, Fred?

Yes, I’ve come back to tell you what it’s like. I have sex before breakfast. Then go off to the golf course, then more sex. Then I sunbathe, followed by more sex. Have lunch, romp around the golf course again, then have more sex. Then supper, then more sex.

Are you in heaven, Fred?

No, I’m a fucking rabbit in Suffolk.

Kim will have texted this to her entire address book. I picture her saying to Chris, OMG I’ve sent that to Boo. Oh god, do you think she’ll find it funny? Oh NO, how embarrassing.

And Chris saying, YOU’VE DONE WHAT?

I don’t make her suffer. I quickly forward onto her an even more inappropriate joke so that she knows it’s OK.

Five seconds later I receive another text:

Hi Boo. How are you, my lovely?

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